I've managed to steal some alone time this morning and wanted to finally get back to my blogging! When I started this, I was so excited to have a place to share my life, but I clearly had forgotten I am a mother of a two year old. I wouldn't trade him for anything in this world, but alone time or even a minute to breathe is a hard thing to come by. I'm sure all of you moms out there know what I'm talking about, you know, every thing's quiet, he's playing nicely with his trucks, you sit down in front of your computer, excited to get a chance to check your email, when suddenly, CRASH, BANG, BOOM! He decided his trucks would make better airplanes and is attempting to make them fly across your living room!
Tyler, my two year old, who has been lovingly nicknamed by his uncle, Tornado, is the joy of my life. In many ways, I consider him my savior. When I found out I was pregnant with him I was in a very dark place. I spent my days, using substances and wishing for death, but upon seeing that positive pregnancy test, my life changed forever. I sought treatment and now my days are spent loving him and helping other woman like myself get the help they need to be mothers in recovery.
As I've wrote about before, Tyler was born on methadone, so he required some extra time in the hospital. I educated myself as much as possible on ways to help soothe him, and I think I did a good job! I learned infant massage and my favorite trick, I teach all my moms now, Happiest Baby on the Block. It's a technique to calm a fussy baby, using what Dr. Harvey Karp calls the 5 S's, swaddling, swinging, sucking, side and swooshing. Sounds weird but it works every time! I used these skills and some old tricks, and Tyler was an amazing infant.
He's a toddler now and there's never a dull moment! I've continued learning from Dr. Karp, and picked up his book Happiest Toddler on the Block. It's a great book, full of excellent suggestions for disciplining your toddler, which is never easy!
I love being a mother again, something I wasn't really sure I would be able to do. I have a new appreciation for my son, I cherish every moment, no matter how small it may be, and yes even when he flys his trucks in my living room. He reminds me every day how precious life is and his little world is so special to me. Parenting after losing my other children has it's challenges, but they are so worth it. There are many nights I cry as I watch Tyler sleep, tears of joy for him, and tears of sorrow for my older children. I often wonder how they are sleeping and if they are having sweet dreams, but before I fall asleep, I tell myself, life is as it should be, and all my children are safe in their beds, and they all know I love them, so much.
Tornado Tyler has taught me life doesn't always turn out the way you thought it would, it can be better than you ever imagined. Through all the chaos of having a two year old and all that life can throw at me, happiness can be found in a simple, "Mama, I love you". Every time he tells me he loves me I thank God for the path He has given me and I wouldn't trade it for anything, ever.
Well, my alone time has ended, and my little man has found his way into my lap. I hope I will have a chance to write again soon, I have so much to say, but in the meantime, I plan on enjoying my toddler, and cleaning the mess he just made in the kitchen! Don't forget to live, laugh and love, always.